Epic Quotes

[JohnDoe]

Re: Epic Quotes

"No wonder they call this the Dragon Age. The things are bloody everywhere." -Anders.

"Shut up, whore!" Aveline

That guy does nothing but complain and weep...

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Shut up, whore!" Aveline

That guy does nothing but complain and weep...

Feh, he does other things, and he's not as bad as Emo Elf. I swear to god, Fenris shut up D: Anders keeps my party alive and I love him to pieces

 

[JohnDoe]

Re: Epic Quotes

They're pretty much the same to me(but i'm a guy after all), the only guy worthy of being in my party is:

"Opinions are like testicles. You kick them hard enough, it doesn't matter how many you've got" Varric

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: Epic Quotes

XD Good God. I do love Varric. And Isabela. And if you have the DLC put Isabela and Sebastian Vael in the same party. It's hysterical.

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

Verbal: Can I get some coffee?
Dave Kujan: In a while. Let's talk about the lineup.
Verbal: I'm really thirsty. I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot. I'm not kidding, it was all thick and gooey.

McManus: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Oswald was a fag.

Interrogation Cop: What are you saying?
Fenster: I said he'll flip you.
Interrogation Cop: He'll what?
Fenster: Flip you. Flip ya for real.

Interrogation Cop: Number 1, step forward.
Hockney: Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
Interrogation Cop: Number 2, step forward.
McManus: Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker, aaarrrghh.
Interrogation Cop: Knock it off. Get back. Number 3, step forward.
Fenster: Hand me the keys, you cocksucker.
Interrogation Cop: In English, please?
Fenster: Excuse me?
Interrogation Cop: In English.
Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?

Verbal: Who is Keyser Soze? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone.

The Usual Suspects

 

[Master_Bei_Shun]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Gee... I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky..."

-John Cusack

 

[Luppikun]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Don't you know? Geisha can kick! I am kicking you!"

-RoboGeisha

 

[Incubus]

Re: Epic Quotes

So, I'm doing my online RSA refresher course. RSA being responsible service of alcohol. This is a government test on a government website and is very serious business.

9. Responsible serving means:


Providing more security staff
Being alert to what’s happening in your bar and pro-actively managing the situation
Calling the police
No double faults in tennis

...snerk.

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

Isabela: So, how good is Donnic? Is he cocksure?
Aveline: (Sighs) Just... get it out of your system.
Isabela: Did he curl your toes? Pudding your peach? Dampen your Divine? Kaddis your Kate? Praise your Maker? Explore your Deep Roads? Gray your Warden? How about "satisfy a demand of your Qun."
Aveline: Yes, all right? He is an incredibly proficient lover. Happy?
Isabela: Well that's rather personal, don't you think?

More Dragon Age 2

 

[Hentaispider]

Re: Epic Quotes

"For shame, Sir Twist. Though I cannot bespeak the activity of their paranoia, I assure you that they shall not see through my deception until they confront their superior in Rome. By then it will be too late for them to interfere. There is, however, another matter." Sam didn't know what could be worse than tonight's disaster, but Dodger's grim expression promised more calamity. "I don't want to know, so you'd better tell me."

From Find Your Own Truth by Robert N. Charrette

 

[Tassadar]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Give your orders and ultimatums to those who choose to obey, or are too cowardly to fight, not to me. Or learn again the difference between a God of Thunder and a mortal man in a metal suit" - Thor.

 

[Master_Bei_Shun]

Re: Epic Quotes

Double Day!

Give a kid a smoke, he'll be happy for a day...
Teach a kid to smoke, he'll be happy for a whole shortened lifetime... -GTO

Light a man a fire, he'll be warm all night...
Light a man ON fire, He'll be warm for the rest of his life... -Unknown

 

[Kusanagi]

Re: Epic Quotes

Light a man on fire, he'll be warm all night...
Light a man ON fire, He'll be warm for the rest of his life... -Unknown

Err..... bluh?

 

[lurker]

Re: Epic Quotes

Err..... bluh?

I think the first 'on' is supposed to be 'a'. it'd make more sense methinks.

 

[SirOni]

Re: Epic Quotes

Not exactly a 'quote' but this is the only place I can really think of putting it. It's an exchange between two characters in Homestuck, and one of the best in my opinion. Spoilered for the length of it.

Spoiler

-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CT: D --> I'm attempting to determine what it is that ranks humans in their class stru%ure
CT: D --> I'd assumed the color of your b100d would serve as the basis for placement in the hierarchy, as would be e%pected and natural, but I was mistaken
CT: D --> I was similarly in error believing the color of what you type corresponds with the color of your b100d
TG: it does bro
TG: my bloods red
CT: D --> Well, obviously
CT: D --> I understand that now, I'm not a f001
TG: on earth class is sorted out by who can drop the most delirious flow
CT: D --> I see
CT: D --> So, in other words, a sort of b100d letting ritual
CT: D --> To assess whose pulse is steadiest and thus whose flow is the most STRONG
TG: no
TG: well yeah
TG: verbal pulse
TG: rap battles
TG: the kings of wordtech ascend to godhood and look down on us patriarchally like urban watermarks in the sky
TG: this is like
TG: our religion man
TG: its fucking serious business its like what our whole culture revolves around
CT: D --> Really
CT: D --> So your social e%elons are dictated by the noble artform of the ancient slam poets
CT: D --> Or the Earth equivalent
TG: yeah well
TG: used to be dictated
TG: til the rapocalypse happened
TG: i still believe though
TG: in my heart so long as it keeps thumping the righteous beat
TG: subwoofing out devotion every which way
TG: that he will come
TG: our savior
TG: was foretold hed come after meteors show up to drop it like its hot
TG: and hed gather up the ashes of our civilization and lift it like its heavy
TG: fuck im tearing up my ishades are gonna fry
CT: D --> I believe
CT: D --> That this is probably nonsense
CT: D --> I've already been hornswoggled repeatedly by your comrades, who I quite reasonably mistook for your superiors in b100dline
CT: D --> Your race makes a habit of deception, and I will not tolerate it
CT: D --> You will stop
CT: D --> I command that all verbal misdire%ion and hoofbeastplay will cease during my communications, is that understood
TG: hahahahaha
TG: douche
CT: D --> Did I say something entertaining
TG: if youre gonna spit that kind of bravado at me im just saying put it in rhyme
TG: lets hear what you got tooly mcsnoothole
CT: D --> I try to stay engaged with many aristocratic practices
CT: D --> But I'm not much of a poet
TG: come on
CT: D --> My poems are private
TG: whatever dude
TG: deprivatize them
CT: D --> If you're prepared to be particularly forceful about it
CT: D --> I may be suitably disgusted to comply
TG: just
TG: take whatevers in there
TG: that brorage lust youre feelin
TG: turn that bitch inside out like a broke ass millionaires pockets
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> Those are the sorts of assertive statements which could get me
CT: D --> Flowing
TG: alright
TG: weird but alright
TG: you sound wound up
TG: but my gears are airtight
TG: steer clear a the seer and the knight if youre scared of unfair fights
TG: youll drop like the staircase impaired, seein em spareds a fair fuckin rare sight
TG: for poor eyes like that millionaire whos pockets i mocked earlier
TG: hes paradoxically me but richer and surlier
TG: broke as his sword before his stock picks skyrocketed
TG: worth more than all the chests lockpicked and gold croc bricks and boonbucks i pickpocketed
TG: fillin folios with millions im milkin to pad out my pockets
TG: more chock full than sad trollian villains cloggin my blocklist
TG: so thoughtful to popul-
TG: -ate my slate with propositions to copulate to a spate of hemoerotic hotpix
TG: which i posit you got shit of that nature in spades
TG: as my shades got you locked in
TG: spyin a guy whos eyed more cocks and dicks than i got clocks and they got ticks
CT: D --> Just a thought. Let's mock a topic with less awfulness
CT: D --> If you'd use the e%cuse to be less culturally myopic, what are your views on abuse to the walking apocrypha
CT: D --> Would you choose if duly cued to put your bruising clop to a flock of naughty roboti%
TG: ahaha wow YES
TG: dont really understand that but yes
TG: ok hold that thought im gonna pull this fuckin sword out of the thing
CT: D --> Perhaps it's that it's martial tacti% that matter for status. Unless you redact this
CT: D --> I'd hazard in practice that it's a glass of what's lactic that would impact this
CT: D --> Pragmatic to presume? A human metric for grandness stands on fondness in honest
CT: D --> For wanton aplomb with strapping song smithing, ripping sonnets of STRONGNESS
TG: yes
TG: still no clue what this shit means but keep going
CT: D --> But perhaps
CT: D --> To divine class divides in unclassified swine is butchering time
CT: D --> Your fauna I find requires too little strength to savage in rhyme
CT: D --> I fear inferiors have monopolized my highest priorities
CT: D --> Let's eschew crude inferiors, pursue nude superiorities
CT: D --> Review z001ogical peculiarities, great stalking enormities
CT: D --> Fle%ing in unison, baying at moons within fraternal sororities
TG: holy shit
TG: what
CT: D --> Great musclebeasts tussle, bu%om in heft
CT: D --> With thunderous muscle, buttock to spec
TG: what the fuck
CT: D --> Connect blows to discover, how invincible pecs are
CT: D --> Venture low to uncover, his inimitable nectar
TG: oh god
TG: ok stop
CT: D --> Should song serve to placate one
CT: D --> And fortune holds he lactate some
CT: D --> STRONG hands tugging teat make great ambrosia collectors
TG: hahaha
TG: jesus
TG: ok maybe youre actually the worst troll
TG: im thinking none of that was actually ironic that was all pretty straightup wasnt it
CT: D --> What do you mean
CT: D --> Are you ordering me to conceal my poems again
TG: nevermind
TG: god dammit
TG: fuckin piece of shit sword
TG: wont goddamn budge probably useless anyway
CT: D --> It 100ks to be a legendary weapon
TG: its a legendary piece of shit
CT: D --> Giving up on the treasure so easily
CT: D --> It strikes me as an artifact rooted in universal lore of nobility
CT: D --> As valuable an asset as strength is
CT: D --> And as much as anyone with his wits is fond of being STRONG
CT: D --> Such weapons require finesse to operate
CT: D --> And surely in this case, to retrieve without damaging
CT: D --> Hence your no doubt frustrating restraint
TG: ok im kinda starting to wonder why youre bugging me now
TG: youre a fuckin creepy dude
CT: D --> E%cessive force will shatter such weapons
CT: D --> We both know this from e%perience
TG: what
CT: D --> The adult human who trained you
CT: D --> And taught you the ways of being STRONG
CT: D --> Remember
TG: you mean the guy who spent years beating my ass down with a puppet
TG: yeah i remember
CT: D --> Yes, and now, being learned in the ways of STRONGNESS
CT: D --> You like myself are unfortunately limited in the weaponry you may wield
CT: D --> Ironically the training which has ennobled you beyond others has made instruments of high b100d brittle in your hands
CT: D --> Hence the state of your favored weapon, hobbling your specibus
CT: D --> I know what this is like
TG: man
TG: im not that strong ok
TG: just cause i broke a cheap ass sword doesnt make me the fucking hulk
CT: D --> Oh
TG: what did you go around breaking a bunch of swords too
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> Bows
TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow
TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> Sometimes
CT: D --> What are you doing
TG: whats it look like
CT: D --> Careful
CT: D --> About succumbing to these sorts of destructive
CT: D --> Urges
CT: D --> Addi%ion is a powerful thing
TG: so am i
TG: bow down before your new king bitch
*between this and the last post TG cuts down a pillar which falls onto a sword breaking it in two*
CT: D --> I think
CT: D --> I need
CT: D --> Something to dry myself off with

 

[Incubus]

Re: Epic Quotes

Tha-Book-of-Eri: bob marley was a reggae revolutionist
angelface: never heard of him
Tha-Book-of-Eri: he fought the power and died fighting the pwer
Tha-Book-of-Eri: just like whats gonna happen to me
angelface: but i don't like politician

*facepalm*

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

Isabela: So, Donnic was in the Rose.
Aveline: He was not!
Isabela: Easy, big girl. He wasn't shopping for himself. You're lucky to have a man who wants to please you.
Isabela: But, maybe you could indulge him more. Are there areas of intimacy you haven't explored?
Aveline: Why? Why do you give me these doubts!
Isabela: Aveline. If you shove your thumb up his ass, I win.
Anders: Just... no.

More Dragon Age 2 win

 

[Kusanagi]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
— Siddhārtha Gautama, Founder of Buddhism

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: Epic Quotes

"The men who took this city butchered every Muslim within these walls" - Balian
"I am not those men. I am Salah ad-Din. Salah ad-Din" - Saladin

"I once fought for two days with an arrow through my testicle," - Godfrey

"You go to certain death." - Balian
"All death is certain. I shall tell your father what I've seen you become" - Hospitaller

"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here
[points to head]
and here
[points to heart]
and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not." - Hospitaller

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

Boris: Shit!
Miller: Watch your language Soldier!
Boris: It's not language, It's shit, literally, I stepped in it!


You reap what you sow, Artyom: force answers force, war breeds war, and death only brings death. To break this vicious circle one must do more than act without thought or doubt. - Khan


The one who lacks no courage to spend his whole life looking around in the dark, is the first one to see light in it. - Khan


It appears that the devastation we brought upon ourselves was complete; Heaven, Hell and Purgatory were atomized as well. So when a soul leaves the body it has nowhere to go, and must remain here, in the Metro. A harsh, but not undeserved atonement for our sins, wouldn't you agree?... - Khan


A wise man once said, "He who leads a war for the love of his fellow man, will defeat his enemies." I led my war protecting my family and friends, protecting my home - the Metro. We had won. But to this day I wonder: When we burned the Dark Ones from the face of the earth, was something lost as well...? - Artyom


One thing I like about the bad guys is that they spend so much time talking about what they're going to do that it takes forever for them to get around to pulling the trigger. - Ulman


So that's the dead city... Welcome home, Artyom. - Bourbon



If it's hostile, you kill it. - Hunter



Great Deeds? Somehow I'm not too enthusiastic about leaving my mark in history... - Stepan


Nikki: Hey, baby. You like what you see?
[Artyom steps up to her and talks*]
Nikki: Is that a gun in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
[Artyom now has the choice to decline or accept her offer]
[Artyom offers her a 5.45mm bullet]
Nikki: Ok, come with me, sweetie.
[Artyom follows her to her room*]
Nikki: Prepare for a big suprise... Big boy.
[Artyom enters Nikki's room]
Nikki: Now close your eyes and wait for a big suprise!
[Artyom puts his hands infront of his eyes, seeing Nikki bending over. Artyom has his eyes closed now.]
[Artyom opens his eyes and the lights has been turned off, and a big man is standing infront of Artyom, headbutting him in the face]
Screen turns black, and Artyom wakes up, and a man standing next to him:
Unknown Man: You dumbass! Everyone knows not to go with Nikki. Her ass really packs a punch, no? Ha-ha-ha! Looks like your pockets were emptied. That's what you get.


Metro 2033 quotes