Re: Hate Thread
OK, here comes my whine... And everyone who has ever had any rough moments in their lives should probably just skip this post, because I'm about to say the most insensitive pussy-ass bullshit to ever be spewed on the internet.
You have been warned.
I hate that I'm not motivated. But it gets worse. I've been thinking a lot, as to WHY I'm not motivated to do shit that I should. It's more than simple procrastination, there's just no motivation what so ever. Why doesn't the threat of failing a class scare me? Why doesn't the potential of becoming rich entice me? I mean, I do want money, and I don't want to fail class, but it doesn't make me change my actions. I can literally go through the curriculum of a 5 month physics course and learn it all in two weeks, so why don't I?
I think it's because I'm a spoiled human being... Spoiled to the very core. Separated parents and a few family deaths are the most tragic moments I've had in my life. While my family wasn't rich when I was born, not long after, my mother became a well known designer, my father has been the ceo of two large companies, my stepfather owns a small architect firm... Whatever I try I can become good at. Taking a course or learning with others, be it drawing, music, math, physics, tennis... Whatever it is I learn it faster than anyone else. And I always have.
In essence I'm a fucking spoiled individual with security from home, talents for everything, good looks and a big dick. Fucking Mr. Perfect, but somehow, I manage to waste it.
I am an empath, I can understand the drive others have to succeed, to do something big. And I want to do something big too, but I can't fucking make myself do it. I don't really understand why, maybe I need to fall before I can rise or something. I don't know.
Anyways, I hate it. And even though it should be something easy to change it fucking isn't.
Donning my Goron tunic, and bracing for torrent of red.
Anyone else feel like this?