Re: Lurker Wars 2 Discussion Thread
The 21st of October, 2009. That's when I posted the last chapter of Lurker Wars 2. In the meantime I've had plenty of real life issues, but also written a full story which I posted up here (Blood of the Damned), and have started work on another that will more than likely end up here. All the while, ideas, images, plot threads keep running amok through my mind for Lurker Wars 2.
My issue? I can not get myself to meld this ideas and images and plot threads into words on a page. I'm completely and utterly stuck, and despite my wanting to continue it, there's parts of me that want to hand it off and take some of those ideas, images and threads into another sci-fi story that has been bouncing about.
I think the main reason for this sentiment is that I feel constricted in writing in someone else's created world. Themes and ideas I thought would fit, don't. Sequences I don't think would work, do. I'm also not writing with fictional characters as I generally do, but rather using real people on this forum as the basis for the characters of the story. Each action and piece of dialogue I write, I feel like I will be judged for twice fold, and it weighs on me for every word I type into place. Not to mention my own character. How do I have myself do what I want without coming across as entirely egotistical? How do I write other people's flaws to make them a more three dimensional character without coming across as a bitch? Not to mention the great expectations people have come to expect from this saga. It's supposed to be a chronicle of what happens here on ULMF, but there have been plenty of users to approach me and say "Don't put me in,". Sure I could say "fuck you all, I'll write this as I want," but as this is a piece of ULMF's culture, I can't do that.
I wanted Lurker drop pods crashing down from the sky, but how do the denizens of this forum react to such an occurrence. I have to sit back and think, and think. It doesn't come naturally to me as the character's were not birthed from the womb of my imagination, but rather feel like adopted children. I had sequences of trench warfare, and brutal close-up combat, but how does that fit in with the favour of larger than life occurrences that even occurred in the first that many here hold. There's no magic, no buxom women in tight outfits.
I don't know how to push forth, I need some kind of key to open this door before me to continue, but I can't find it, or perhaps I don't have it.
Do I even want to continue? After months of nothing, I'm not even sure anymore. Is this overly long, drawn out post a cry for assisstance? Or is it a plea for someone to take the entire project off my hands? I don't even know.
Still... that's the status update on Chapter 4 or Lurker Wars 2.