- Joined
- Nov 10, 2008
- Messages
- 2,433
- Reputation score
- 268
I thought this would be a nice place to read and tell jokes, especially those that have been passed to us by friends and family. I would ask that links to comedic work by others (i.e. funny sites, funny blogs, funny Youtube videos, funny webcomics) be placed in other threads -- if I wanted to browse the Interwebs for funny stuff I could do that on my own (and often do). So here goes... these are a few jokes I've picked up over the years.
An Irish pastor is speaking to his Roman Catholic congregation, attempting to explain the concept of the Holy Spirit. He poses the question, "How many people here have seen a ghost?" To his surprise about half the people raise their hands.
He responds with the query, "Well... how many people here have touched a ghost?" Again, he is shocked to see several hands go up, though a significantly smaller quantity.
Now he asks, "Alright. How many people here have made love to a ghost?" He is flabbergasted to see one shaky hand go up near the back.
"Michael Barnaby Jonas, you cannot be serious! I highly doubt you ever had sex with a ghost!"
Old Michael stands up, "Oh, a ghost? I thought ye said a goat!"
Two men walk into a bar and the third one ducks.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
A rabbi, a boy scout and a soldier walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"
A man is in a bar and walks over to the cute blonde bartender. "Hey baby, I've got a great blonde joke. Wanna hear it?"
She glares at him. "Before you tell this joke, look around you. That muscle-bound blonde over there, she's our bouncer. The two blonde girls at that table over there, one of them is a professional boxer and one of them is a professional wrestler. I myself have three black belts from different schools of martial arts. Are you sure you want to tell a blonde joke here?"
The man replies, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it four times."
An Irish pastor is speaking to his Roman Catholic congregation, attempting to explain the concept of the Holy Spirit. He poses the question, "How many people here have seen a ghost?" To his surprise about half the people raise their hands.
He responds with the query, "Well... how many people here have touched a ghost?" Again, he is shocked to see several hands go up, though a significantly smaller quantity.
Now he asks, "Alright. How many people here have made love to a ghost?" He is flabbergasted to see one shaky hand go up near the back.
"Michael Barnaby Jonas, you cannot be serious! I highly doubt you ever had sex with a ghost!"
Old Michael stands up, "Oh, a ghost? I thought ye said a goat!"
Two men walk into a bar and the third one ducks.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
A rabbi, a boy scout and a soldier walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"
A man is in a bar and walks over to the cute blonde bartender. "Hey baby, I've got a great blonde joke. Wanna hear it?"
She glares at him. "Before you tell this joke, look around you. That muscle-bound blonde over there, she's our bouncer. The two blonde girls at that table over there, one of them is a professional boxer and one of them is a professional wrestler. I myself have three black belts from different schools of martial arts. Are you sure you want to tell a blonde joke here?"
The man replies, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it four times."