Advice Thread

[Scarlet_Periwinkle]

Okay, so sorry if there is a thread like this and I didn't see it. Please move/merge it as needed.



So, I am having a possible dilemma and figured the anonymity that the Internet offers might be a good place to data mine. my partner is going away for work/school/etc. in the Fall and I need to stay where we both currently live for at least 6 months (realistically more like 12-18) due to work and other commitments. The plan is for me to then move there as well. I've been thinking for a long time that this person is "the one" (stereotypical I know lol), however, we've never been apart for long periods of time, and I'm deathly afraid of this long distance relationship. I came up with the (probably stupid) idea of a commitment ring. A ring that would basically say "I'm all about you, but if you find that moving is too hard, no regrets." A potential "out" that something like an engagement ring, at least in my mind, doesn't really allow.

I'm specifically looking at a

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, since it has been mentioned before that they really enjoy them. Conveniently, we also both have some Irish heritage. Given the ring's symbolism, it seems to fit my situation. My other option is to propose right out before they leave. The proposal would be seen as more than just a little out of the ordinary; given both family's religious and cultural traditions.

My fear is that the claddagh could be seen as pushing an engagement, especially if they don't want to take that step before they move. My greater fear is that it'll look like a "cop out" from actually asking for engagement.


I know I'm new to the forum, but I figured I'd give it a shot. Your thoughts are much appreciated!!

 

[Newbie]

Re: Advice Thread

Have you tried talking to your other about the situation? Because for some reason, the answer is no surprisingly often.

 

[Host]

Re: Advice Thread

Hmm.


Lynch Bartnum?



...Though, I get the feeling that answer won't be of use to you, given that a) it's a serious question and b) you probably haven't been here long enough to get the joke. You've written about the situation, and about your own feelings, but nothing about theirs; until that is known, no meaningful advice can be given. Well, unless the answer to Wonder's question is no - in which case the advice is simple: 'Less clacky-clacky keyboard, more flappy-flappy lips, capiche?'

 

[Scarlet_Periwinkle]

Re: Advice Thread

@ Newbie
I assume the "answer is no" you're referring to is whether or not we talked? If so, then yes, we've talked and yes we're both committed more or less for the long term. I say "more or less" because, honestly, the word engagement never came up.

@ Host
I've been around lurking long enough to know the reference, though I never really understood it (probably because I never read the pbp games; I did have to do some research lol). As far as her feelings, see above

I guess my thing is should I just go ahead and ask for an engagement and risk their family's wrath for not being "proper" (which honestly is only about a 50/50), or just do the pre-engagement thing?

Again, thanks!

 

[Ranger Princess]

Re: Advice Thread

I can hardly keep my eyes open right now, but here's my sleepy two cents, so in case it sounds stupid, I have an excuse!

Any kind of commitment symbol in a relationship is a two-way street, whether it's engagement/claddagh rings/other symbolic gesture thingies. Whatever option you two choose, the only reason it means something is because there's a special meaning it in for you two, so make sure that both of you are participating in the decision! Everyone is different, so really take what I say with a grain of salt, but I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think. As long as you and your partner are happy, that's what counts. It might sound cliche, but I would just do what feels right in my heart.

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: Advice Thread

I agree with Ranger. When myself and my now wife, then girlfriend, entered a two year long distance relationship, in which 7 months within communication was spotty at the very best of times, we gave each other 'promise rings' of a sort. Seemed like a good idea and a show of commitment.

But, I personally didn't need it. It helped make her feel better about the coming months and so I went ahead with it to ease her mind.

I say go for the rings, but I'd say leave the engagement talk until the long distance portion is past.

 

[Scarlet_Periwinkle]

Re: Advice Thread

Thanks everyone! And Sin, I was leaning toward that long distance thing too. I'm glad to hear from someone else whom actually has gone though it.

 

[Mind Flayer]

Re: Advice Thread

I'd agree with Sin on this one here myself, probably a good idea to hold off the talk of full on engagement until after you reunite with one another. Though my reason for saying it is that if it turns out that it won't work or anything because of being apart for too long, then you'd both know so before it made it all the more difficult for one or both parties to be able to move on afterwards.

Saying that, I also agree with Ranger Princess about it, that it should be a decision you make together and whatnot and that no matter what you decide together on it makes you both happy, so in that way you'd have no regrets afterwards, regardless of the outcome. At least this is what I think, so you don't have to listen to my opinion at all.

 

[lurker]

Re: Advice Thread

Meh. I guess this thread will do for this purpose as well I suppose.

Sooo... I've got an interesting request by my sis ',' Apparently, for some random event, she's plotting out a cosplay for

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(considering her, this seems surprisingly out of character) and she wants help in designing the harpish weapon for her.

WHAT DO D: I've never actively developed such a prop before, and while I do has knowledge of a bit of various forms of what I could use for prop-making (paper mache' and a good storage shed of easily-accessible Styrofoam comes to mind), but I'm not sure what I'd do for the actual piece's parts bit by bit. A part of me wants to suggest simply Styrofoam, but that sounds too brittle for lugging around all day...

 

[Nunu]

Re: Advice Thread

For a prop that size you really need to look more towards wood, or at least some for of sculpting over the styrofoam.

The most obvious thing that needs to be done is so really accurate technical drawings (the ruler is your friend), starting small but then in life size. Broken down piece by piece which can be assembled later.

I did some google searches for decent shots of the prop so I'll dump them here.

Spoiler