Re: New Age Introduction Thread
Well, one of the days we did our usual schtick, I was sick. So it was just two people. On the way back, my friend walks into the library in his towel, looks really confused and goes "uhhh.. is this the sauna?"
Funny right?
No, he gets stopped by three cop cars on the way back. Apparently, the old bat in the library was from the holocaust research center and was a survivor and somehow heard him say "is this the showers?" Which is not only incorrect, but fucking evil knievel couldn't make that jump.
The campus police told them it's their right to walk around in a towel and they can't stop that. Well the sergeant didn't tell them that because he was "too disgusted to speak to those kids." It was reported as suspicious terrorist activity, and the next time they went in their towels, they were stopped again.
At this point the campus police got a hold of everyone that's ever walked with them by using footage from their security cameras, which included myself. We all had to go see the dean of students, on our own time, over the summer, while we had holds placed on our accounts. Yeah, cuz the summer is the best time to decide "Hey, all these kids must live around here right? And who cares if we're stalling their ability to choose classes over the summer, it's only one semester we're fucking up for them."
I told him that I didn't do anything, but I'm not trying to sell out of my friends because I don't think they did anything offensive either. I refused to apologize and said apologizing for "perceived" offense" is dumb, and that the only thing they should apologize for is the misunderstanding. In the end, they had to work hours at the holocaust research center for some sensitivity bullshit which was then changed to watching 15 hours worth of holocaust dvds and writing reports on it.
My friend still had a hold on his account after about a year and a half because he was in california that summer, and he called and asked why the meeting couldn't have been done over the phone and they pretended it was "very srs bsns." When it turned out to be a 3 minute meeting of "why you think they're offended."
During the meeting, the dean was fucking ridiculous. His logic was "You don't find that offensive? How would you like it if I pissed on your grandmothers grave?" First off, he didn't use the term "someone," he said "I" which is extremely personal, and not comparative at all, considering there was no intention of offense. Later he tried to relate to them by saying "I understand, I started trouble in college too," and then tells them a story about his college getting construction when he was there, and he called the cops saying that students were hanging out dressed as construction workers, and then warned the construction workers that students dressed as cops were coming to prank them, starting a small riot. Cuz yeah, walking into the library with a towel on is totally like starting a police war on campus.
A jacuzzi on the other hand.....sounds like a fun idea. Ohh and, welcome to Fracture and Pentavus. Meet me in the jacuzzi sometime! 
