Epic Quotes

[Bartnum]

"This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach."

"Once a man has seen society's black underbelly, he can never turn his back on it. Never pretend, like you do, that it doesn't exist. "

"Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!"

"I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."

"GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!"

-Rorschach

[SirOni]

'Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."'

- Also Rorschach

[Archer]

"You can see why Che ducked out right after the revolution. It's a lot easier to blow up trains than to make them run on time."

"I don't know if great times make great men, but I know they can kill them."

"Not one of those West Point, War College, medals-up-the-ass, four-star fart bags said, "Hey, we got plenty of fancy weapons, we got enough shit for them to shoot!?!""

"In politics you you focus on the needs of your power base. Keep them happy, and they keep you in office."

-World War Z

[Games Dude]

"I know we've been immune so far, but, well... If I start to turn, promise me you'll shoot me."

"What if you're beard starts to turn can I shoot that?"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you from your head being so far up your ass."

-Bill and Francis, L4D.

"Good thing I'm indestructible." -Francis

[lurker]

"Who the hell... puts an evac station... up 30 flights of god-damned stairs..."

"I dunno, maybe... maybe the helicopter's made of chocolate!"

~Coach and Nick, Left 4 Dead 2

[Games Dude]

"If it weren't against the laws 'o nature, I'd bear that man's children." -Ellis L4D2

[Tassadar]

Originally Posted by Archer

"You can see why Che ducked out right after the revolution. It's a lot easier to blow up trains than to make them run on time."

"I don't know if great times make great men, but I know they can kill them."

"Not one of those West Point, War College, medals-up-the-ass, four-star fart bags said, "Hey, we got plenty of fancy weapons, we got enough shit for them to shoot!?!""

"In politics you you focus on the needs of your power base. Keep them happy, and they keep you in office."

-World War Z

Great book. Think the movie will be any good?

[SirOni]

I'm hoping it will be, I loved the book.

[Sinfulwolf]

I heard they were aiming for a 2012 release date, just for the irony.

[Archer]

I will scream like a 10 year old girl when they announce the release date, I can't wait for Yonkers, The Odyssey of the Chinese, and Otaku-Man

[Tassadar]

Yonkers is what I'm waiting for. That, and hopefully they'll put the story of the downed pilot in there too. Half of the stories in that book make decent movies all by themselves.

[Sinfulwolf]

That whole book is one large tome of epic quotes. I wish I still had my copy... it got stolen.

[Tassadar]

Lamesauce. My friend's borrowing my copy, and I haven't got it back from him yet.

[Archer]

It was on the summer reading list of schools around here, I kid you not. Oh, I also want to see the big brother/real world thing that goes terrible wrong. "I met the whore's rat dog running out the same time as me, if it had been a conversation it would have went, "Where's your master?" "Where's yours?" "Fuck 'em." "

[Hopeyouguess62]

"I'm your Huckleberry... tha's jus' mah game." -- Doc Holliday


["Conan, what is best in life?"] "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women!" -- Conan the Barbarian


"They shall all drown in lakes of blood. Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they shall learn why they fear the night." -- Thulsa Doom


"Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all." -- Lt. Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

[cross_grave]

"DECAPITATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!"

I'll let you guess.

[Games Dude]

"Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?!" -Caboose, RvB

"It's like you're saying words, but they don't fit together in a way that makes sense." -Sarge, RvB

"-Caboose, throw your grenades! Cover him!
-Okay!
*throws halo 3 spike grenade*
*sticks to wall in front of them*
-Worst. Throw. Ever. Like, of all time.
-Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.
-RUN!" -Agent Washington and Caboose, RvB.

"Oh my god! I'm the teamkilling fucktard!" -Church, RvB

"-I could just kill you now...
-No you can't, cuz I'm already dead! Joke's on you bitch!" -Church and Tex, RvB

"I'm going back to the cave, I think I know how this is going to turn out..." -Church, RvB

EDIT: Almost forgot about the "Alien Auditions" extra.

"I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien." Caboose, RvB (as an Elite)

"Blarg blarg blarg, blarg blarg blarg blarg, blarg blarg... aw hell. When do I get to shoot Grif?" Sarge, RvB (as an Elite)

[Tassadar]

Originally Posted by Games Dude

"Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?!" -Caboose, RvB

"It's like you're saying words, but they don't fit together in a way that makes sense." -Sarge, RvB

"-Caboose, throw your grenades! Cover him!
-Okay!
*throws halo 3 spike grenade*
*sticks to wall in front of them*
-Worst. Throw. Ever. Like, of all time.
-Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.
-RUN!" -Agent Washington and Caboose, RvB.

"Oh my god! I'm the teamkilling fucktard!" -Church, RvB

"-I could just kill you now...
-No you can't, cuz I'm already dead! Joke's on you bitch!" -Church and Tex, RvB

"I'm going back to the cave, I think I know how this is going to turn out..." -Church, RvB

EDIT: Almost forgot about the "Alien Auditions" extra.

"I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien. I'm an Alien." Caboose, RvB (as an Elite)

"Blarg blarg blarg, blarg blarg blarg blarg, blarg blarg... aw hell. When do I get to shoot Grif?" Sarge, RvB (as an Elite)

XD

"And that makes you........... A gay robot!" -Caboose

[Sinfulwolf]

Originally Posted by Hopeyouguess62

That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war
-- Lt. Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

Was Patton alive for Vietnam? Cause if he was, he must have just hung his head and went "well ah shit."

As for quotes:

"Shiella come back to me... I made you a muffin..." - Caboose, RvB.

and don't know if it's been said.

"Spartans! Tonight. We dine. In Hell!," Leonidas (300)

"Children, gather round! No retreat, no surrender; that is Spartan lore. And by Spartan lore we will stand and fight... and die. A new age has begun. An age of freedom, and all will know, that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it! " - Leonidas (300)

"Haven't you noticed? We've been sharing our culture with you all morning," -Leonidas to Xerxes (300)

"You are generous as you are divine, O king of kings. Such an offer only a madman would refuse. But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it's- You see, slaughtering all those men of yours has, uh, well it's left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me." - Leonidas (300)

"Our arrows will blot out the sun," -Persian
"Then we shall fight in the shade," Leonidas... or Stelios (The 300 Spartans... or 300)

"[after the persians asked greeks to give them their weapons] Come and get them! " Leonidas (The 300 Spartans and 300... the difference being that 300 involved the Persian being impaled before Leonidas shouted back)

"Leonidas, it is bigger than anything you can imagine. For six days, I watched them pass. Six days! I ran out of numbers and still more of them came. They're drinking the rivers dry. And at night there are more of their campfires than there are stars in the sky!" -Agathon
"Good. I've always wanted to reach the stars with my spear," - Leonidas
(The 300 Spartans)

And for more humor:

"Who can understand the way of the gods? They create lovely girls and then turn them into wives." - Samos (The 300 Spartans)

[Copper]

"Stop kicking people into the Pit of Death!" - Meet the Spartans

[Archer]

"This. Is. DECAF!"-Robot chicken leonidas

"The box may be empty but the message's quite clear. Play santa again and I'll -kill- you next year...."-Santa Claus

[Kusanagi]

"The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is its last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury. Not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to take...inventory. Outgunned. Outnumbered. Out of our minds. On a suicide mission. But the sand and the rocks here, stained with thousands of years of warfare...They will remember us. For this. Because out of all our vast array of nightmares, this is the one we choose for ourselves. We go forward like a breath exhaled from the Earth. With vigor in our hearts and one goal in sight: We. Will. Kill him."
-Captain Price, Modern Warfare 2 (at least, that's where I heard it)

[Caulder]

Originally Posted by Kusanagi

"The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is its last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury. Not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to take...inventory. Outgunned. Outnumbered. Out of our minds. On a suicide mission. But the sand and the rocks here, stained with thousands of years of warfare...They will remember us. For this. Because out of all our vast array of nightmares, this is the one we choose for ourselves. We go forward like a breath exhaled from the Earth. With vigor in our hearts and one goal in sight: We. Will. Kill him."
-Captain Price, Modern Warfare 2 (at least, that's where I heard it)

Most. Epic. Quote. EVAR.

[Bartnum]

"I'm with Grif, and we're on top of some kind of peninsula outcropping."
"You're on top of Grif's what now?" -Sarge and Simmons, RvB

"Everyone leaves me. Girls, parents.... I had a pet lemming once."

"The world loves a bastard."

"He was never proud of me. What other father would claim to have an alibi for his sperm on the night of conception?"

"I just want to say: over the years, I have come to regard you as... people I met."

-Rimmer, Red Dwarf

"Jean Paul Sartre said that Hell was being locked forever in a room with your friends."
"Yeah, but all his friends were French." -Lister and Holly, Red Dwarf

"I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do."
"You? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?"
"No! I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew." -Cat and Rimmer, Red Dwarf

"I'll stake my reputation on it."
"You don't have a reputation."
"No, but I'm hoping to acquire one from this escapade." -Kryten and Lister, Red Dwarf

"You're going to go with one of my plans? Are you nuts? What happens if we all get killed? I'll never hear the end of it." -Cat, Red Dwarf

"There's got to be a way out. There hasn't been a prison built that could hold me. Why don't we scrape away this mortar here, slide one of these bricks out, then using a rope weaved from strands of this hessian, rig up a kind of a pulley system so that when a guard comes in, using it as a trip wire, gets laid out, and we put Rimmer in the guard's uniform, he leads us out, we steal some swords, and fight our way back to the ship."
"Or we could use the teleporter." -Lister and Kryten, Red Dwarf

"All in all, a 100% successful trip!"
"But, sir, we lost Mr. Rimmer!"
"All in all, a 100% successful trip!" -Cat and Kryten, Red Dwarf

"It's an obscene phone call, sir. I think it's for you." Kryten, Red Dwarf

"Suddenly, there's a disturbance on the surface of the tank and this massive testicle shoots out of the water and grabs me by the throat!"
"He means tentacle."
"I hope so." -Cat, Lister and Rimmer, Red Dwarf

"Arnold Judas Rimmer, your life is over. Come with me. You will travel to the River Styx, where you will place a coin and —"
"Not today, matey!" *knees Death in the groin and runs*
*gasping* "That's... never happened before." -Death and Rimmer, Red Dwarf

I could go on, but this post is getting too long.

[dmronny]

[quote=sinfulwolf;122432]Was Patton alive for Vietnam? Cause if he was, he must have just hung his head and went "well ah shit."

Actually Patton died in a car accident in December of 1945, shortly after the war ended. I don't think we would want to see his reaction to anything involving the Vietnam War.

[Unknown Squid]

If my younger brothers poorly thought out ramblings are to be believed, Canada sounds awesome.

Him - "This country is full of pussies. A little bit of snow on the pavements and everyone goes running to hospital with broken heads. In Canada they have sky walks so they don't have to walk on the snow. Between buildings and..."

Me - "Huh? What, you mean with a roof or somethi...?"

Him - "No no not on the rooftops, they just walk in the sky."

Me - ಠ_ಠ

[Mirchie]

"It's quite simple. Either we retake the launch control facility or we won't recognize the world tomorrow." Captain John Price

[Sinfulwolf]

Originally Posted by Unknown Squid

If my younger brothers poorly thought out ramblings are to be believed, Canada sounds awesome.

Him - "This country is full of pussies. A little bit of snow on the pavements and everyone goes running to hospital with broken heads. In Canada they have sky walks so they don't have to walk on the snow. Between buildings and..."

Me - "Huh? What, you mean with a roof or somethi...?"

Him - "No no not on the rooftops, they just walk in the sky."

Me - ಠ_ಠ

That had me giggling pretty good. In truth, we just all have a pair of snowshoes for every person in the country. Snowshow production is synonymous with the birth rate. Should one person break their pair, they are dragged to Prince Edward Island to farm potatoes in red sand for the rest of their lives. They then howl in agony on Elephant Rock.


"I don't fear death horseman," -Ulthane
"It's not 'Death' you should fear," - War
(Darksiders)

[Chibichibi]

Animal House:
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests. We did. But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!


Elizabeth Swann: You will listen to me! LISTEN! The other ships will still be looking to us, to the Black Pearl, to lead, and what will they see? Frightened bilgerats aboard a derelict ship? No, no they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see, they will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brow and the strength of our backs and the courage in our hearts! Gentlemen, hoist the colors!

# Inglourious Basterds
Lt. Raine: My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might of heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only... killing Nazis. Members of nationalist socialist party conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimation, and terror. And that's exactly what we're gonna do to them. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half Sicily and then jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. We will be cruel to the Germans and through our cruelty they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, disfigured bodies their brothers we leave behind us and the Germans will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, at our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans will be sickened by us, the Germans will talk about us and the Germans will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that it tortures them with. Sound good?
Basterds: YES, SIR!
Lt. Raine: That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning to all would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on a debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin'.



Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I'm entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessep: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: You're goddamn right I did!!

[Hopeyouguess62]

"I'm here to fight for truth, justice and the American way." -- Superman

"You're going to end up fighting every elected official in this country!" -- Lois Lane


"Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding on the day of your daughter's wedding. And may their first child be a masculine child." -- Luca Brasi


"It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, 'Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson.' You remember that? 'This ain't your night!' My night! I could'a taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you should'a looked out for me a little bit. You should'a taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money."

"Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money."

"You don't understand. I could'a had class. I could'a been a contender. I could'a been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley." -- Terry Malloy and Charlie "The Gent" Malloy