Explain a Fetish

This started after seeing a hentai game with the NTR tag on it. I figured I'd ask, but then realized it could be a much broader, educational series as well.

So if you have a question about a particular fetish, ask away and hopefully someone will be able to answer.

Please keep any questions and answers civil. This isn't a place to bash other people's preferences, but simply to expand people's knowledge, and to possibly enlighten others to fetishes that they maybe didn't know they liked.

I'll start off with a question: What is the appeal of Netorare? I can see there being at least four perspectives on it, that of the guy who's girl is getting sexed behind his back, that of the girl, that of whoever is sexing the girl behind the boyfriend's back, and that of an observer. So my question to those who enjoy Netorare, which perspective do you prefer, and why? Or maybe I'm missing something else entirely.

Re: Explain a Fetish

The general perspective of 'Netorare' is of the guy (or girl) whose lover is being taken from them. Of course, like with all terms, it's sometimes just used interchangeably for sexual activity that relates to infidelity. I've come across a few works where the protagonist has to discover their mother or sister being... 'stolen' away from them and yet they've somehow earned the NTR tag, for whatever reason. In addition, it seems that the object of the protagonist's desire doesn't always HAVE to be in a steady relationship with them.

Then there's 'Netori', which is from the viewpoint of the one stealing one member of an established relationship away for a night or more. If the person being NTR'd does NOT find out about his significant other's infidelity at some point, I'd probably say that the series aims towards the viewpoint of the 'netori' (stealer) or even the outside observer. For the latter, one reason that NTR might have appeal is because 'spice' in a story, emotional context, makes it mean more, rather than just two bodies fucking. Drama at work can be arousing for some.

'Reverse Netorare' is when a heroine or other female character steals the male protagonist away from the girl he has an established relationship with.

I'm not sure about the term for the viewpoint of a girl who is being stolen away from her man, but that is also a fun one that tends to fall under the NTR umbrella.

The reasons for this fetish are fairly diverse and, as you might imagine, fairly controversial. If you care to look more in-depth into the matter, just do a search on articles about 'cuckoldry', as that is what NTR is, in essence.
The topic has fascinated quite a few evolutionary psychologists and biologists, and it isn't hard to find an academic paper on it.
(change the x's to t's, of course)
hxxp://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP05358362.pdf

However, as a something of a fan of all of those topics (Netorare, netori and reverse netorare), I'll try to explain it in my own words.

I guess you can call it something of an 'emotional / mental BDSM'. Some people get turned on by whips and hot candle wax, while that is a bit too kinky for others. Same deal with netorare, I would argue; learning to handle a degree of mental anguish is more often an acquired sort of fetish, but once you get used to it, it isn't too bad.

Some other fans of NTR argue that they simply like to watch the object of their affection receiving as much pleasure as possible, even if it isn't necessarily coming from themselves.

On the other hand, netorare is NOT strictly a beta male thing, contrary to the belief of many laymen. Some serious alphas from prominent fight camps are said to have allowed other young, virile males from their gym to sleep with their wives--so long as they can watch, of course. I feel this has a lot to do with competition, or a very competitive mindset. You want to see how other men might try to please your wife. Either way, she's likely having a good time, but in the process you can see what you might want to improve on or where potential inadequacies lie--or maybe where you do better than others in some areas. While some submissives are into NTR (or rather, cuckoldry in general), there are also some very dominant and competitive folk who enjoy it.

I've read several accounts of cuckolds who have never been so vigorous, or have cum so hard, than when they fuck their wives after her pussy is already sloppy from the cum of other men. Evolutionary psychologists might also theorize that there is some sort of sperm wars thing going on there, but I'll leave the details of that sort of speculation to them. There's quite a bit of reading that can also be done in that regard.

It takes a certain degree of emotional and mental resilience to be able to 'handle' netorare, I would argue, since obviously you don't want to be completely destroyed by having to watch a loved one do something like that in front of you. Of course, it isn't for everyone; some people who are better at handling jealousy still won't go for NTR, simply because they haven't acquired the association of it turning them on.

Just my two cents.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Takimaru said:

It takes a certain degree of emotional and mental resilience to be able to 'handle' netorare, I would argue, since obviously you don't want to be completely destroyed by having to watch a loved one do something like that in front of you.

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This is probably one of the more important things to take away from your post. I had this happen to me IRL and it was far from sexy.

However, as with a lot of fetishes, the eroticism of "harmful" fetishes such as BDSM, cuckolding, breathplay, rapeplay, ect. usually involve knowledge of it being a fantasy between consenting partners. Obviously all those things are pretty awful by themselves when there is no consenting partner, but that's the distinction as to why one can enjoy it, especially in hentai format; the characters and situations in that instance are imaginary, a fictional event. That's at least half of why more fringe fetishes have thrived on the internet, and a large reason as to why people are into these kinds of things.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Yes, it's certainly important to note that there are also varying degrees to which someone might 'enjoy' a certain fetish. Not everyone who is into NTR in terms of their porn tastes will just up and let you fuck their wives or girlfriends, much in the same way that not everyone who is into incest would do it with their siblings. Some people can separate fantasy from reality better than others, while some prefer to see their fantasies realized. Not to mention, going through with a fantasy is sometimes an entirely different thing altogether than merely fantasizing about it.

Re: Explain a Fetish

So what's the deal with airline fo-

I mean, ryona.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Ah, thanks Taki. That "mental BDSM" analogy made it a bit more understandable for me.

GargantuaBlarg said:

So what's the deal with airline fo-

I mean, ryona.

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I think it's related somewhat to masochism. You know, that enjoyment of personal pain and suffering.

Oh wait, you wanted to know about Ryona.

Again, there's more than just one perspective on it, but in any case it's probably related to Sado/masochism, just depending on which side of it you're on. But it's not one I like myself so I'll let someone else answer with probably more clarity.

Re: Explain a Fetish

I've been doing some thinking, and I've got a weird sort of topic to broach that I don't want to with people in reality-life. Most people on here have some sort of fetishes or bits and bobs they've picked up off of the internet that has stayed with them and their personal fantasies so I think it'll be easier to find people who relate.

I know fiction is fiction, and as it stands it is by and far separate from reality, so it's not like I genuinely want to hurt or torture anyone. But lately with the content I've been viewing I've found that a major kink of mine is turning men into women and forcing them to enjoy it.

I've always been good at ignoring some of the more disturbing content of porn and the internet, but I guess with the introduction of Kelt's "Kelly" content on CoC I became more open to the idea of turning dickholes into, well, dickholes(No I do not mean all females are dickholes, but in this situation I am , yes, directly objectifying a fictional person, another thing about it that makes me uncomfortable). I didn't really take it all that seriously, but on tfgamessite I encountered a bunch of content I hadn't been through before, during a time when porn games were in low supply. Most people I realize go through these games in the perspective of the person being transformed, not me typically however, so I guess that's sort of how it all started.

But at the same time I'm also disgusted with the idea and myself, and I'm not really into erotic self-degradation so it's not that great, I don't really have any questions so much as curiosity as to the insight some people might have on it. I've seen some stuff around but it seems to be a surprisingly niche fetish.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Going to separate this into two bits, Male -> Female TFs and Making them Enjoy it/Degradation and talk a bit about my perspectives on them separately, then as a combined whole.

Turning other guys into girls isn't a big thing for me, but playing as a guy that turns into a girl (or futa) is one I like. Possibly because I'm somewhat gender confused/fluid myself and still trying to figure out exactly where I stand there.

Degradation is a tricky one for me. I highly respect women, especially strong ones, so games or stories like Taimanin Asagi get me really upset. You take a strong, respectable woman and turn her into a cumdump. Really ticks me off. On the other hand, humiliation and degradation can be something actually desired by a woman, which is fine for me, if it's a willing, voluntary choice. Forcing them to like it is one of those rage triggers for me.

Putting them together, turning jerkbag males into slutty females, I'm perfectly fine with. I've got plenty of fantasies of TGing some asshole who degrades women for the fun of it and giving him a taste of his own medicine. For me it's something of a revenge fantasy, as I've had my share of assholes making my life difficult. It's also something of a poetic justice, in some cases as well.

I guess for me, it depends on the person being transformed.

But you're right that there's not many games where you're transforming others while not changing yourself.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Yeah, but I pretty much remedy that by taking the perspective of a "mindless aggressor" if that makes any sense? There are plenty of situations where games put you into a "every man for himself" kind of attitude, and it's easy fantasize along those lines.

So even games like Trap Quest and others where you're supposed to relate or take the pov of the "victim" I can quite easily enjoy, with a few exceptions. Some of the games still make me feel uncomfortable because I can relate too well to the main character, but typically I avoid the ones with that kind of level of detail or personality, with the exception of games like CoC, which are so outlandish and frankly, surreal, that I can quite easily do very evil things without feeling bad at all, like roleplaying a demon.

Re: Explain a Fetish

I guess that it also doesn't help that there is certain fetishes that we may not be interested suddenly seeming appealing at some points. For example, I'm not usually interested in Bimbofication (yes, it's a variant of Mind Control, but it's such a huge IQ regression and relates to some MAJOR feminine things that I can't really connect to as easily as some of the basics), but I've been doing some minor SL experimentation as of late because blahness and looking for something a bit more interesting.

Could be what you were experiencing too.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Well I'd hope it's just a faze like you say, but bimbofication is a fetish of mine as well, unsurprisingly. I'm very attracted to femininity of all kinds, even extreme stereotypical portrayals that maybe aren't all that flattering people who might take offense at the idea. That and full-bodied lips have been a big kink for me since pre-teen years, which may be what bridged the gap.

Re: Explain a Fetish

I am quite a fan of that theme myself Cappy. If you have some reservations with forcably turning a man into a woman and making them like it, maybe you should try another aspect of that general theme, that I quite enjoy and would say is one of my more favourite fetishes.

Have you tried games or stories where a man helps their friend/lover who wants to be a woman and gently helps and guide them as they change into a woman? You might find that aspect enjoyable.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Sometimes that's fine, but a large element of the attraction I think is the domineering part of it, and the element of control. There's also a sort of base pleasure to the idea of shaping somebody into a pleasurable partner for yourself.

I'm rather insecure to the idea of becoming a victim of cheating or losing control of my partner sexually, due to one or two particularly vicious subhumans who I mistook for women. Because of my bitter resentments from that, I also think I may have some unhealthy attachments to the idea of transforming predatory men into something less abhorrent to me.

If the content existed, I would probably like stuff about forcibly transforming (female) cheating partners, but I haven't really seen anything like that, where as there's plenty of that for *male* cheating partners. But I guess there aren't many who hold to that particular brand of hateful lust.

Re: Explain a Fetish

I've met someone in real life with ntr fetish(in real life). I think it's some form of masochism, happy sphychological pain, something like that.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Masculine sexuality can be driven in so many directions, and if you indulge so many times eventually you will be exposed to the same elements repeatedly, until they start to appeal and become desirable to you, sometimes to the extent of being unable to become aroused or climax without a thematic presence.

I can only imagine people who are careless or whom deliberately don't care for the consequences end up with an NTR fetish, either that or have developed one out of self-defence. Either way I think it's pitiable, I can't really understand it, being so unable to empathize or desire another person that you feel that your sexual pleasure is less important than your attachment to them, or that their sexual pleasure excludes your involvement.

I don't really want to offend anyone, but NTR honestly offends me, it's even more vile and sick to me than any other genre of pornography in existence. If rape is the physical embodiment of domination and violation, then I would say that NTR represents to me, the psychological embodiment of rape, or at least would if it took form in reality, as all fictional things that can be cast off of oneself with enough focus.

Re: Explain a Fetish

I think my game over rape fetish has its roots in the games i saw played as a child, and those i played myself...

as an example, in resident evil, the women's death cries sound rather erotic and the screen flashes white in much the same way an orgasm would happen in visual novels etc.

when playing alundra 2 one night, the princess you've been fighting with gets kidnapped and will be turned into a clockwork puppet if you dont save her, i got stuck at that part and had to go to bed, but i dreamt about how i didn't want her to get turned into a puppet...


then when i finally discovered masturbation (accidentally since the method was different to that shown to me by an older teen) i found my fantasies were in the form of a resident evil game, or a game where women were ganged up on and made into sex slaves

the resident evil fantasy was especially nice as it was in game form, with the
ecg machine being replaced with a body filling up with cum, representing how filled up with the lust virus the person was... i would generally climax when the game over triggered...


hmmm there was another fantasy in game format featuring several game an anime characters and you needed to make the girls submit with the help of specific items and other conquered girls helping as requirments, that was mostly a game of figuring out the ideal order.

and there was also the vibrator/lifepoint shadow game concept where the 5 pieces of exodia were part of an ancient sex device that would give the ultimate orgasm when combined

Re: Explain a Fetish

I think netorare may be partially masochistic in nature. Basically you revel in the opposite sex having a sexuality but perhaps due to low self esteem you can't buy yourself (or stand-in protagonist) providing it to her, so instead she is provided it by someone she seems more likely to be attracted to.

Re: Explain a Fetish

Can someone explain vore to me? I mean, I sort of get that it's hot in a fleshy prison sort of way, plus potential for fun tentacley things to happen while inside, but is being actually swallowed whole part of the appeal? What about being digested? Is it still appealing to vore fans if that stuff is missing?

Re: Explain a Fetish

Some people really don't like digestion. There's "soft vore" and "hard vore"